Blessings dear friends!

So many of us love the summertime. Getting our skin bare on the hot rocks of the Yuba river, then plunging into the cool water. While I desire to be one of the sun-tanned and bikini-clad babes on the beach or at the river, I am not. For me, this time of year is when I cover up more, feel less in love with myself. Feel more shame for my voluptuous body. The belly fat rolls, and the creases where my ample bottom bends up toward my back, thanks to the curved spine I fight with daily. This is when I dream of being at my "fighting weight," lean and mean and as physically capable as I was when I was 30.

Next weekend is the inaugural time of summer. Memorial Day weekend, less renowned for remembering and more renowned for the kick-off of summer fun. But I find myself heading into my personal winter. With the Queen of Death behind me, the Alchemical Goddess looms before me like a giant rainbow. I wish I could turn away from her. To forget this crazy summer energy and withdraw into myself.

I've always preferred Fall and Winter. Felt more at home in the dark nights and cocoon-like feeling of the darker days. I feel more alive, aware, connected. But I have come to recognize (thank you Nicola) that deep approval of this summertime of year is my best bet. To allow the riot of colors to wash over me, brightening me, lightening me, showing me that the rainbow of colors are all there for me. That as a daughter of the Earth it is my right/rite to delight in her many phases.

This year my prayer is to allow enjoyment of the summer as I have not in many years. To find myself on beaches, hearing the water sing to me her songs. To take the sun into my dark places and let the light and warmth cleanse them of all that has been. Of all that I have let go of. Knowing that as I get older, the letting go is really what the work is about. Knowing that even as we speak there will be more letting go, and soon.

As most people think of settling into retirement in their later years, I know this is not my path. I am here and of service during these changing times that will not be finished in my lifetime. There will be workings to attend to until the last days of my life.

And so, I will take the Summer as my Winter. I will love the embrace of the sun and warm my bones. I will open myself to the anointing of its light. I will take days of recharge and rest, while the rest of us play and garden, swim, and boat. While the world is alive with activity and color, I rest in the rainbow of Alchemy. I let go. I become.

Come Fall, I will be ready to serve in the darkness again. Welcoming shadows back from the excursions of the sun. But now I rest.

And empty, empty, empty.

With love,
Madame Ginger (aka Rachel Lazarus)
May 18, 2018, Cult of Gemini Newsletter